Yeah, I contradict myself sometimes. That’s normal. People are complicated

Today was town day. 
Walmart was not all that crowded, but Food City was packed. 
Normally, it’s the opposite.

We made it home around 1 p.m., but with groceries to carry in, eggs to gather, and chickens to take care of, Cowboy still didn’t have much time before heading to work.
He didn’t get a chance to eat until nearly 2, and by 2:46, he was already running behind.
Even with the plant so close to home, that’s not a good time to leave.

Heron has gone to his girlfriend’s for the weekend; today is her birthday.
I have a feeling he only came home last night to take a shower and use my washer and dryer.

There isn’t very much to say about the rest of the day.
Badger spent a large part of it outside, practicing her throwing.
I have my TV, my Kindle, and my computer.
We get by, although it is rather boring most of the time.

Badger decided to wait until after 7 p.m. to go walking, knowing that the sunset comes much earlier now.
She insists it’s too hot to walk before then. 
I disagree, but okay.
We walked to just in front of the barking‑seal dog house and turned around.
Of course, dark was falling fast by the time we got to the railroad tracks.
We could hear the train, but it sounded distant, so we made a very fast dash across the tracks.
Badger, being younger and faster, had already started down the pathway. 
I’d just gotten off the track and started down the steep little hill when the train came roaring behind me.
That was cutting it too close.
Of course, this isn’t the first time I’ve waited too long to cross.
Once, I could literally reach my hand out and touch the train.
I swear my life flashed before my eyes at that moment.
Again, we're not supposed to be crossing the tracks where we do.
We cross at an unmarked spot with no gates or signals, simply stepping across when the coast seems clear.
It’s dangerous, and we have no business being there. 
All the residents do it, but that makes it no less unsafe or illegal.

Badger retreated to her room. 
She puts the cats in the laundry room for the night, and the dogs go with her. 
The living room’s cold and dark and kind of lonely. 
Sometimes it’s just too quiet. 
I guess I’ll just go to bed.

What happens when you get what you want?
I wanted a quiet house.
I wanted all the mess and noise the kids bring to stop.
Now I have it.

I do enjoy my quiet.
I really like not having to clean up messes every weekend.
But, being able to visit with the kids once in a while would be nice.
Just no more overnights or every weekend.
A short visit is enough.

I guess that’s just the way we are, wanting peace but still caring about the kids. 

Humans are contradictory creatures, aren’t we?