When someone you love leaves this world, there is no "getting over it". There is only "learning how to live your life again without them"

Mother died a month ago today.
 I guess I'm doing OK.
I have my bad days, but I'm managing.

Cowboy and the kids don’t like for me to talk about her or to cry about her, so I make an effort when they’re around to act as if nothing is wrong, but when they’re gone, it’s hard sometimes.

Cowboy says that it's in the past and you can't change the past.
While that is true, it doesn't stop you from grieving. 
It doesn't stop you from wanting to be able to pick up a phone and call your mom.
It doesn't stop the hurt and the pain. 
It doesn't fill that empty spot her leaving left in your life.
It doesn't stop the regrets about past things, things you wished you had done or said.
And it doesn't stop you from wishing that you could stop time and go back and do it all over again, but differently.

I am trying to move forward, but only time will really help me.

30–31 days, 744 hours.
 Not nearly enough time to “get over it”.
Not nearly enough time to put the pain and the hurt into the past.

Mother's little sister called me, just to see how I was doing.
I know it has to be hard on her too.
She was with Mom far more than I was able to be, those 4 months Mom fought her battle.
And my uncle, my uncle seems so lost.
I don't think he ever imagined that he would lose his big sister, not in this way and not this quickly.

A month
Just a month
We're not doing so great right now but we're making it.
And that's all we can do.
Just get through it however we can.