I'm a beautiful disaster

Today was a much better day, thank goodness. 
I decided that what would be—would be, and forced myself to chill out.
 I sat in the car and sent Raven. 
I told him to deal with it today.

He dealt with it by telling them he had an appointment and had to have his sister now.
 In the 18 years my kids have gone to that school, they've never seen anyone other than me pick them up. 
I guess they figured if I wasn't there and a brother was, it was a good reason to send Badger out ASAP.
Hey, it worked. 
I didn't tell him to do it, but whatever.

Their intercom system is still down. 
They'd better be working at getting that system up and running. 
They had about 20 kids miss the bus. 
Luckily—and I really don't know why they have two loads, but the late load was able to get them. 
I noticed the car rider line was still backed up late too—their kids were still missing.

I do not understand why they are not utilizing the walkie-talkies. 
Every single staff member in that school has a walkie-talkie on their hip—why aren't they relaying messages? 
I'm fairly certain that the intercom system being down doesn't affect them.

Of course, that's just normal for this school. 
They're inefficient and, quite frankly, dumb.

I was never this paranoid and nuts with my sons. 
I wasn't with Badger until my mom died. 
After Mom died, I'm obsessively worried about her. 
I'm paranoid about her safety.
 I'm convinced that something is going to happen to her constantly. 
It doesn't help that she is selective mute. 
She's nonverbal in a public setting.

It's not good for me or for her. 
I have a doctor appointment in like 2–3 weeks, and I will talk to him, but I will not see a psychiatrist.

Badger's phone broke. 
Completely and totally dead. 
We looked it up, and the thing was as old as she was. 
Oh, all right—it was only 7 years old, but it was second or third-handed. 
I'm surprised it lasted this long.

We had said we would not renew our Verizon contract—it's up in April. 
But we did the numbers and decided that it would be a lot cheaper to stay with Verizon than to have to buy 5 new phones and keep cards on them each month. 
Heron and Raven are both out of a job; they can't buy their own phones or cards either. 
I feel safer with them roaming all over hell and half of Georgia if they're able to contact us should they need to. 
You never know when they're going to get in some kind of trouble and need help. 
With Badger being nonverbal in public, I feel safer if she's able to reach us should she need to. 
So my phone was ready to upgrade with a 2-year contract. 
I traded my old phone to Badger and upgraded my phone. 
We still need to take the other phones back in April and renew their contract.

Having Badger with a working phone helps my anxiety considerably.

Not having to worry about buying a card when you run out is great, too. 
For all my griping about Verizon, the freedom from buying cards is wonderful. 
We had prepaid when we started out—it really sucked.

Badger was happy with my old phone. 
She's been drooling over it since I got it. 
I'm not so happy with my new phone.
 It's a touch screen.
 It's a basic phone, but with a touch screen. 
I still haven't got used to the thing. 
Raven suggested a stylus might help me. 
I stole Badger's from her Gameboy. 
It helps a little—not much, though.

It's hard to teach old dogs new tricks.

We spent the rest of the evening roaming K. 
My boys both have income tax money. 
They're worse than girls wanting to shop. 
Dang. 
They wore me and Badger out. 
I think both of us fail at the girly art of shopping. 
We were threatening to bop them upside the head if they didn't return us home soon.

At least we got fed. 
I reminded them that when I get “hongry,” the inner witch comes out. 
Hungry and tired—huh-uh. 
You don't want to be around me.

We got Chinese. 
Badger just picked at it, though. 
The girl is like her daddy and has a very picky palate. 
I'll always be glad that while we didn't have a lot of money, Mom still made sure I tried a little bit of everything, and she liked a wide variety of food. 
Married to Cowboy, I've not had that chance with my kids because he's so darn picky!
 It's SOS every single day.

I really can't see my kids eating frog legs, pigs' feet, pig brains, cracklings though—just a few of my childhood foods. 
Oooh, liver—I absolutely adore liver. 
Chicken and beef. 
I've not had any in years because I can't fix it to where it actually tastes good. 
If it's not properly fixed, it's nasty.

But anyway, a much better day today, and I'm off to bed. 
I will sleep like the dead tonight—I can about guarantee that. 
And tomorrow is Friday. 
Yay!
 I have a whole weekend ahead and don't have to deal with that school.