Loss echoes louder when family grows smaller

I’m just trying to keep up with the days.
The days slip past in a blur.
The nights stretch long, slow as a snail.
I turned to the house, cleaning room after room, anything I could find.
The rhythm of work steadied me, kept my mind clear.

I started cleaning out the kitchen cabinets, but Badger shoved me aside.
She said if I did the straightening, she’d never find a thing.

Raven is going up to the other parents to be with the kids this weekend, and I’m grateful for the quiet.

At the moment, I do not feel like interacting with anyone, human or animal.
I simply want to be left alone.

Badger and I took a walk down to the Methodist Church.
That helped a little, just getting out of the house.
Not a lot, but some.

It feels like losing Mom all over again.
Uncle was the last family I had left.
We weren’t great at keeping up these past few years, but we still texted.
If I had some juicy gossip, I’d send it his way, and he’d do the same.

Hippy Aunt is still around, though we were never close.
She always favored Cousin.

I have half‑siblings and a whole paternal family somewhere out there.
I tried to connect.
They did not want me.
We have never had a relationship.

With Uncle’s passing, I feel like an orphan.
The only family I have now is Cowboy and my children.