Ain’t No Such Thing as Short in the South

 This is going to be short and sweet. 
What? 
Don’t you laugh at me, I’m capable of not being an old windbag once in a blue moon.

It was an absolutely nothing day. 
Nothing.🤷🏻‍♀️

Badger and I stayed in our rooms until after Cowboy went to work. 
I don’t even know what he got into all morning.

After Cowboy went to work, Badger took the dogs and stayed outside for a good long while. 
When she came back in, she went to her room, so I went to mine. 
I was reading a very boring book and dozed off. 
As I tell my children, I’m not 30 anymore.

While I was napping, Badger sneaked into the kitchen. 
She’d made stuffed pepper soup for dinner.
She reheated that and made us turkey pimento cheese sandwiches to go with it.
I really appreciated that.

We ate our supper and finished watching “Monster House.” 
We started a second movie, but Badger decided we’d take a small walk instead.

Since it was already late and the sun sets so early now, we only walked to the library and back. 
It was just far enough to stretch our legs and get some fresh air.

We came home and finished the second movie.
I don’t remember its name, but it was based on a book, so Badger went to ThriftBooks and bought it.

With the movie over, Badger has gone back to her room.
I guess I’ll be heading to mine soon.

Tomorrow is Duffy’s spa day. 
Badger paid for him to get the works.
It’s becoming his annual October tradition. 
Neither Cowboy nor I can manage to trim his nails anymore.
And he has to have his rear end squeezed.
Oh fine, his anal glands.
Look, ain’t nobody in this house gonna touch that.

Sunday’s my mom’s birthday; her seventeenth in heaven.
Cowboy says the dead don’t have birthdays anymore.
Well, maybe that’s how he sees it.
But I’ll keep remembering my mom’s birthday every year, right up until the day I die.

Okay, fine; tomorrow’s the sperm donor’s birthday.
I remember it whether I want to or not.
It’s one of those dumb little facts that just won’t leave my brain.
Probably because, when I was younger, I kept mixing up his birthday with Mom’s.
You don’t want to do that. 
You really don’t.

The Marketplace person is supposed to come by Sunday, time unknown.
Hopefully he’ll text me before he pops up.
Actually, he’d better text before he pops up; Lady is not people friendly.

Then Monday is mammogram day. 
I always dread that.
I have no family medical history.
My people didn’t go to doctors, seriously.
Of course, the paternal side is a deep mystery.

Actually, any medical appointments make my anxiety climb sky-high.

Well, would you look at that. 
This one didn’t turn out short and sweet after all.
But let’s be honest. 
Have you ever met a Southerner who could tell a story without taking the scenic route?
I didn’t think so.