The days are long, and all I see stretched out in front of me is sameness.
Nothing changes, nothing will ever change
I put pen to paper just to remember what day it is, figuratively.
If I could go back in time, I would kick my eighteen‑year‑old self in the rear end for giving in to parental pressure and not signing on that dotted line.
I may have failed and failed spectacularly, but at least I would have tried.
Who knows?
I could have led an exciting life all these years, or at least gotten out of Tennessee.
Don’t we all have regrets, paths we wish we had taken?
A life we wish we had lived.
Chances we wish we had taken.
Late night musings, after spending yet another day in exactly the same way as yesterday and the day before and the day before.
4 comments:
Boy do I understand parental pressure. The only way I knew to get out of their house was to marry. Than the pressure to reproduce. The first I regret the second I don't. Good decisions at 20 are rare!
I have regrets. Until recently I didn't think much about it. I've tended to be a forward thinker, but my life, because of my physical limitations has changed drastically, allowing those thoughts in. I try to remind myself that regret is only worthwhile if it can change something. If not, it's self punishment. Easier said than done, I know.
I think everyone thinks like that from time to time. I always try to tell myself that different circumstances would have just meant different problems!
Sandra: We seem to have something in common. Getting married was the only way I knew to escape my mother’s house too. My husband is ten years older than I am, and he already had an older daughter from his first marriage, so having more children was something he very much wanted.
Like you, I don’t regret the children. And I can’t really say I regret getting married at twenty either, but when you marry and start a family that young you do miss out on some things. Twenty feels grown up at the time, but looking back it really isn’t as old as we thought it was.
I understand what you mean about regrets showing up more when life changes. When you’re busy raising kids and getting through the days, there isn’t much room for looking back. Later on those thoughts have more space to wander in.
I think you put it well that regret is only worthwhile if it can change something. Otherwise it turns into a kind of self‑punishment.
Jeanette: That’s a fair point. Different choices usually just come with a different set of things to deal with. I think most people wonder sometimes about the life they didn’t take, but every path has its own trade-offs.
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